I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
