can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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