3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Enjoy the penises
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
