And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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