But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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