dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
