you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
