We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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