Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
