she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want her autograph on my taint
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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