I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
