Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
