how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize