I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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