it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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