yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
