I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
