my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
