you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
