We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
