how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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