wakey wakey hands off snakey
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They have beer where we have blood.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
