wrigley field is MILF paradise
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
