11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
