and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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