You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
