i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
