Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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