i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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