I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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