i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
