I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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