I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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