I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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