she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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