She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
