I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
