I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Mom said you looked used
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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