No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
