Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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