I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
