PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
