She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
