Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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