and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
