you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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