I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
