Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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