it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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