she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
