I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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