Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
