I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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