Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
