please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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