Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
