But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
