Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
