that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
