Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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