I'm gonna have a badass scar
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
