great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
