the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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