I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
